Life's Inanities and Ironies

  Ashtoreth, also called Ashtaroth in the plural of her shrines, was the goddess of the Zidonians. She belongs to the same family as Ishtar of Mesopotamia and Astarte of the Phoenician coast: a goddess of desire, fertility, and war, the queen men set beside the storm god when they wanted both the rain and the bed. Sidon carried her name. Israel learned it. The Bible never gives her a hymn. It gives her a charge sheet. The pattern starts as soon as the generation that buried Joshua is gone. They forsook the Lord and served Baal and Ashtaroth (Judges 2:13). In the days of the judges the same pair returns: Baalim and Ashtaroth, the gods of Syria, Zidon, Moab, Ammon, and the Philistines (Judges 10:6). Samuel later stands before the nation and makes the condition of deliverance plain. If you do return unto the Lord with all your hearts, then put away the strange gods and Ashtaroth from among you, and prepare your hearts unto the Lord, and serve him only (1 Samuel 7:3). They did. They pu...

  Dagon was the god of the Philistines, and before them a god of the Euphrates lands, known there as Dagan. His name belongs with grain, not with fish. Later readers heard the Hebrew word for fish in his name and pictured a man above the waist and a fish below. That image stuck in commentaries and in Milton. The older evidence points to a god of corn, provision, and the settled city. He was the one a people thanked for bread and for victory. Whole towns carried his name. Ashdod kept his chief house. Gaza had a temple large enough for the lords and for thousands on the roof. When Israel’s enemies wanted a god who could feed them and finish their wars, they went to Dagon. The Bible shows what that worship looked like when it met the living God. After the ark was taken at Ebenezer, the Philistines carried it into Dagon’s house at Ashdod and set it beside the idol, the way a victor sets a trophy beside his god (1 Samuel 5:1–2). They went to bed as conquerors. In the morning Dagon had f...

  Chemosh was the national god of Moab, the people east of the Dead Sea who came from Lot’s line and lived as Israel’s near neighbor and frequent enemy. His name sits on Moab the way the Lord’s name sits on Israel. Numbers calls them “the people of Chemosh” in the same breath that it sings their ruin (Numbers 21:29). Jeremiah later picks up the line: Chemosh shall go forth into captivity with his priests and his princes together, and Moab shall be ashamed of him as Israel was once ashamed of Bethel (Jeremiah 48:7, 13, 46). A national god does not stay in the shrine. He becomes the explanation of the nation’s wins, the excuse for the nation’s losses, and the owner of the nation’s wars. The Moabite Stone, cut for King Mesha in the ninth century before Christ, says this in Moab’s own words. Mesha built a high place for Chemosh because the god had delivered him from all kings and let him look down on his enemies. Omri of Israel had oppressed Moab many days, Mesha writes, because Chemos...

Marduk began as a local god of Babylon, a storm and fertility power, marked on early monuments by a triangular spade. He did not stay local. In the Babylonian creation epic, the Enuma Elish, the younger gods are terrified of Tiamat, the salt-water chaos. Marduk steps forward with a condition. He will fight if they will make him king, if his word will fix fates, if no other decree will stand against his. They agree. He kills her, splits the carcass, and builds sky and earth from the body. Humanity is fashioned afterward from the blood of a slain rebel god, made so the gods can rest and men can do the labor. Then Marduk is handed fifty names, each one a title taken from some other deity. Babylon shortens the whole claim to one word. Bel. Lord. His temple was Esagila. Beside it rose Etemenanki, the ziggurat called the house of the foundation of heaven and earth. At the New Year festival, the Akitu, the creation story was recited in his court. The king was stripped of his regalia, struck, ...