When Marriage Breaks: Biblical Faithfulness in the Face of Infidelity and Disunity

As fundamentalist Christians committed to the absolute authority and inerrancy of Scripture, we affirm that marriage is a sacred, lifelong covenant ordained by God (Genesis 2:24; Malachi 2:14; Matthew 19:4-6). Yet in this fallen world, marriages face profound trials—infidelity, emotional betrayal, chronic disunity, and relational breakdown. How are we to respond when a spouse proves unfaithful or when harmony gives way to persistent conflict? Culture offers easy exits: no-fault divorce, serial relationships, and self-fulfillment above all. But God’s Word calls us to a higher, costlier path of holiness, forgiveness, and faithfulness.

This post draws solely from Scripture to guide believers through these heart-wrenching situations.


1. Recognize Marriage as God’s Permanent Covenant

Jesus declared, “What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate” (Matthew 19:6). Marriage is not a contract terminable at will but a covenant reflecting Christ’s unbreakable union with His church (Ephesians 5:31-32). Divorce is never God’s ideal; it entered only because of hardness of heart (Matthew 19:8).


Even in severe trials, our first posture must be commitment to the covenant. Fleeing difficulty without biblical warrant dishonors God and harms souls.


 2. Confronting Infidelity: Adultery as the Biblical Exception

Scripture is clear: Sexual immorality (porneia, including adultery) is the one explicitly stated ground for divorce (Matthew 5:32; 19:9). Jesus said, “Whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery.” This exception clause acknowledges the gravity of betrayal—it severs the one-flesh bond in a unique way.


Yet divorce is permitted, not mandated. Many godly couples, by God’s grace, have reconciled after adultery. Consider Hosea, commanded to redeem and restore his serially unfaithful wife Gomer as a picture of God’s redeeming love for Israel (Hosea 3). Reconciliation requires:

- Genuine repentance from the unfaithful spouse (Psalm 51; 2 Corinthians 7:10-11).

- Full confession and transparency.

- Willingness to seek intensive biblical counseling.

- Time to rebuild trust through consistent faithfulness.


If the unfaithful spouse remains impenitent or continues in sin, separation and possibly divorce may become necessary to protect the innocent party and reflect God’s hatred of treachery (Malachi 2:16).


 3. Addressing Chronic Disunity and Other Forms of Betrayal

Not all marital pain involves physical adultery. Emotional affairs, pornography addiction, abuse, abandonment, or persistent refusal of intimacy can devastate a marriage. While these do not automatically grant biblical grounds for divorce, they demand serious action.


Paul addresses abandonment: “But if the unbelieving partner separates, let it be so. In such cases the brother or sister is not enslaved” (1 Corinthians 7:15). If a spouse deserts the marriage (physically or functionally), the believer is not bound.


For ongoing disunity:

- Husbands are commanded to love their wives as Christ loved the church—sacrificially, nourishingly, without bitterness (Ephesians 5:25-29; Colossians 3:19).

- Wives are called to respectful submission as unto the Lord (Ephesians 5:22-24, 33), not enabling sin but honoring God’s order.

- Both are to pursue unity: “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you” (Ephesians 4:32).


Chronic refusal to fulfill marital duties (1 Corinthians 7:3-5) or patterns of abuse (which violate the command to love and honor) may justify separation while seeking restoration (1 Corinthians 7:10-11).


 4. The Call to Forgiveness—Even When Reconciliation Fails

Scripture commands forgiveness from the heart (Matthew 18:21-35; Colossians 3:13). We forgive because Christ forgave us—unilaterally and fully. This does not always mean trust is immediately restored or reconciliation occurs. Forgiveness releases bitterness; trust must be re-earned.


Even if divorce becomes biblically warranted, the innocent party must guard against hatred. Remarriage is permitted in cases of adultery or abandonment by an unbeliever, but only “in the Lord” (1 Corinthians 7:39).


 5. Practical Steps in the Midst of Crisis

1. **Seek God First**: Pour out your heart in prayer (Psalm 62:8). Fast if led. Immerse yourself in Scripture—Psalms, Lamentations, the Gospels.

2. **Pursue Biblical Counsel**: Do not isolate. Involve mature elders or a biblically faithful counselor (Proverbs 11:14). Avoid secular therapy that prioritizes self over Scripture.

3. **Confront Sin Biblically**: Follow Matthew 18:15-17—private confrontation, then witnesses, then church involvement. If abuse is present, prioritize safety (civil authorities may be God’s provision, Romans 13:1-4).

4. **Separate if Necessary**: Paul allows separation for reconciliation (1 Corinthians 7:11). Use this time for prayer and repentance.

5. **Guard Your Own Heart**: Flee temptation to bitterness or revenge (Hebrews 12:15). Do not deprive the marriage out of spite (1 Corinthians 7:5).

6. **Model Christ to Children**: Protect them from unnecessary details, but teach God’s design for marriage through your faithfulness.

7. **Trust God’s Sovereignty**: He redeems suffering (Romans 8:28; Genesis 50:20). Many strengthened marriages emerge from the furnace of trial.


 6. Warnings Against Common Pitfalls

- Do not use “irreconcilable differences” as justification—Scripture recognizes no such category.

- Avoid quick remarriage without thorough biblical examination.

- Reject the lie that personal happiness trumps obedience.

- Never enable ongoing sin under the guise of “submission” or “love.”


A Final Word of Hope

Marriage trials expose our desperate need for Christ. Whether God restores your marriage or calls you to singleness after biblical divorce, He is faithful. He is the Husband to the widow and Father to the fatherless (Isaiah 54:5; Psalm 68:5). Cling to Him. Many believers have walked this valley and emerged with deeper faith and testimony.


If you are suffering today, know that you are not alone. Seek a Bible-believing church for support. The Lord who bound your marriage is mighty to heal or sustain.


To Him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus, even through broken marriages made whole by grace.


DMMC 

12-22-25

Location: Peru, IN 46970, USA

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