Exploring Ephesians 5: God’s Divine Order of Submission and Love in Marriage

In Ephesians chapter 5 the Apostle Paul, under the inspiration of the Holy Ghost, lays out the walk of the believer in the light of God’s glory. After commanding us to walk in love, walk in light, and walk in wisdom, he turns to the home — the very foundation of society and the clearest picture of Christ and His church. Verses 22-33 contain God’s unchanging blueprint for marriage: the wife’s submission and the husband’s sacrificial love. This is not a suggestion. It is not a product of ancient culture. It is the revealed will of God for every Christian marriage until Jesus comes.

Here is the Scripture in the preserved King James Bible (Ephesians 5:22-33):

“Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church: For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.”

The Wife’s High Calling: Submission as unto the Lord — Ephesians 5:22-24

The command is crystal clear: “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.” This submission is not slavery, not inferiority, and not optional. It is a voluntary, joyful yielding that pictures the church’s glad submission to Christ.

- **“Unto your own husbands”** — This is personal, not to men in general. It is in the marriage covenant.

- **“As unto the Lord”** — The motive is spiritual. A wife submits to her husband because she first submits to Christ.

- **“The husband is the head”** — Not because he is smarter or stronger, but by divine design and creation order (see also 1 Corinthians 11:3).

- **“In every thing”** — The scope is comprehensive. This is not submission only when he is right or loving; it is the normal pattern of a godly marriage.

This truth directly flows into Titus 2:5 — wives are to be “obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.” When Christian wives obey, the gospel shines. When they rebel, the world mocks the Bible.

The Husband’s Weighty Responsibility: Sacrificial Love as Christ Loved the Church — Ephesians 5:25-30

God never commands the wife to submit in a vacuum. He immediately places an even heavier burden on the husband: “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it.”

This is not sentimental romance. It is self-sacrificing, sanctifying, nourishing, cherishing love:

- Christ gave Himself — the husband must lay down his life daily.

- Christ sanctifies and cleanses with the Word — the husband leads his wife spiritually.

- Christ nourishes and cherishes — the husband provides, protects, and delights in his wife as his own body.

No godly wife is asked to submit to a tyrant. She is asked to submit to a man who is commanded to love her like Jesus loves His bride.

The Profound Mystery — Ephesians 5:31-33

Marriage is far more than a legal contract or romantic arrangement. It is a living picture of Christ and the church. “This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church.” Every Christian marriage is a gospel billboard to a lost world. When husbands love sacrificially and wives reverence their husbands, the world sees a faint reflection of Calvary and the church’s devotion.

 Application for Believers Today — Including the Devout Divorced

This passage is not reserved for “perfect” marriages or first-time couples only. It is God’s standard for every blood-bought believer.

- **For the devout divorced woman**: If you are single and walking in repentance, you can still teach and model this truth to younger women (Titus 2:3-5). If the Lord has granted you a biblical remarriage, you are called to live out this submission afresh — your past does not cancel God’s present command. Your reverent submission can be a powerful testimony of grace.

- **For the devout divorced man**: You are called to love your wife (if remarried) exactly as Christ loved the church — with renewed commitment and sacrificial leadership.

- **For every Christian home**: Reject the world’s lies that submission is oppression or that headship is toxic masculinity. Embrace God’s order and watch your marriage become a lighthouse of the gospel.

The local church must preach this without apology. We do not soften it to please feminists or modern psychologists. We declare it because “all scripture is given by inspiration of God” (2 Timothy 3:16).

If you are a wife, ask the Lord today: “Am I submitting as unto the Lord?” If you are a husband, ask: “Am I loving as Christ loved the church?” The same grace that saved us empowers us to obey.

May the Lord raise up homes that display this beautiful mystery until He returns. “Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly…” (Colossians 3:16). Walk in it, beloved, for the glory of God.

In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost. Amen.

DMMC 

5-4-26