From Fear to Certainty: How I Came to Know I Belong to Christ

It’s an incredible thing to be able to write this with absolute certainty: I KNOW, without a shadow of a doubt, that if I were to take my last breath at this very moment, I would be standing face-to-face with my Lord and Savior.

If you are a believer—someone who has truly trusted in Jesus Christ—this might sound like a “gimme.” Of course you’d go to Heaven, right? But I am here to tell you that for many years of my life, I did not have that assurance. Instead of the peace that passes understanding, I lived in a constant state of fear and confusion, caught in the web of false doctrines.

My story starts very young, between the ages of 4 and 6, when my mother regularly hosted the “Watchtower ladies” from the Jehovah’s Witnesses Kingdom Hall. Even at that tender age, I was starving for truth. I desperately wanted to hear about Jesus and Heaven.

Instead, what I learned from them was devastating. They taught that if I died and wasn't part of the specific 144,000 elite, that was it. I had no hope. They preached that the tribulation was coming, that everyone else was going to die, and that was the final end, since they didn't teach an actual hell, what happened when you died? Was that you just weren't anymore it would be as if you never existed. For a sensitive, impressionable child, this was paralyzing.

Not long after, we moved, and the focus shifted. My folks started having the Mormon elders over—initially, I think, because my Aunt Joni had a massive crush on Elder Ken. These elders visited us for over two years, and my parents came very close to being baptized in the Mormon faith. In fact, I’m not entirely sure we weren’t all baptized by proxy anyway, but that’s a story for another time.

The Mormons appeared, on the surface, to be just like any other Christian denomination. But as you dive deeper into their literature—or in my case, attend their Sunday classes for children—the darkness starts to seep in. I was being told not to worry about the tribulation because, as Mormons, they believed they would get through it unharmed. I was taught that eventually, they would all be equal with Christ, and after everything was settled, each faithful man would get his own planet to control and rule over, just as Christ rules over ours.

Even as a third-grader, this didn't sit right. I was a smart boy, and even with a little bit of judicious study, I could see the massive holes in this theology. I asked Elder Ken and others hard questions, and I never got an answer that didn't involve going around in circles.

Like many religions, cults, or sects, the people involved are often very nice, very moral, and they sincerely believe what they are being taught. But the doctrines themselves were hollow. Once again, I was afraid. I did not know what was going to happen to me if I died.

During this time, I lost my grandfather, my great uncle, and sadly, my grandmother. All three had tried to teach me what was right from the time I was a baby. Like many of you reading this, I was on the cradle roll at the local EUB or Methodist Church from infancy. In fact, I suspect I might still be on their roster in Fulton, as some of those churches have a tendency not to update their records! LOL.

But when my grandmother died, I knew where she was. Because I had talked to her about it, I knew she had no doubt in her mind that she would be with God the moment she was gone.

By the time I hit junior high, for about a year and a half, I lived in absolute terror that God would come back and I would be destined for hellfire.

Then came the summer between my 8th and 9th grade. I was at the laundromat with my mother. Two boys I knew from school walked in, and they were incredibly excited and adamant that they had the answer I desperately needed. They sat down with me in that little laundromat and walked me through what I later learned was the “Romans Road” to salvation. They kept asking me if I would accept Christ right then and there.

Now, I know people get saved everywhere—in foxholes, even at the top of a ferris wheel. But I was just not ready. I told them I would think about it, and I truly did. But we moved away from that town before I ever saw them again to talk further.

Thankfully, God was not done with me. The Lord Jesus continued to work on my heart. Moving to a new school brings all sorts of panic, frustration, and fun. I acquired a dozen new friends and acquaintances—a mix of rebels, goody-two-shoes, and some kids from solid Christian homes who had heard the gospel their whole lives and knew the truth.

They wanted so badly to share that truth with me. I ended up becoming best friends with the pastor’s son of the local Baptist Church. I got invited over often for meals, and then there was my comic book friend. I loved Superman, and he introduced me to the X-Men, Fantastic Four, and his favorite, Spider-Man. But when I was at his house, I was also hearing the gospel. This was a fundamentalist Christian home.

I started getting invited to their youth activities at church, and they were amazing—especially for somebody who hadn't had anybody close. Every Sunday, the pastor or the youth leader would swing by and pick me up for church. I was finally hearing the gospel, every time I turned around.

I noticed very quickly that the message they were preaching was the exact same one those two friends of mine in the laundromat had tried to convey. When the invitations were given at the end of every service, I felt this massive pull to go up and accept Christ. I couldn't do it, though. Satan was holding me back.

This continued into the spring, until the pastor announced that a full-time evangelist was coming to the church for a weeklong revival.

That following week, I was introduced to a five-foot ball of energy by the name of Joe Mark. Joe was a stocky little guy, but he was absolutely on fire for the Lord, and he had probably the deepest, loudest voice I had ever heard at that time. Joe started preaching on Sunday evening, scheduled every night until the following Sunday morning.

After hearing him speak that first night, I was drawn back because he was such an entertaining and powerful speaker when he brought the word of God.

That first meeting, when the invitation was given, I felt a powerful force on me. It was telling me to go forward, that I needed to accept Christ. Monday and Tuesday night came and went, and the same effect happened to me. I couldn't hardly breathe when the invitation was given. I just stood there and shook.

Finally, on Wednesday evening, I couldn't stand it anymore. I honestly couldn't tell you what the message was about that night. All I knew was that when the invitation was given, I needed to go forward. I needed to understand what it meant to accept Christ.

I literally ran down the aisle.

Evangelist Joe Mark came over, laid his hands on me, talked to me, and asked me what I was there for. Then he flagged down one of the deacons. Richard Trump came forward. He was a deacon and also the driver for the church bus—just a very quiet, soft-spoken man.

We went back to a little room they used for Sunday school, and for about a half hour, Dick explained the plan of salvation to me again and led me to Christ.

The Romans Road to Salvation

Dear reader, perhaps you are where I was as a child—starving for truth, attending church but lacking assurance, or caught in the traps of false religions and cults that demand works for salvation.

The truth is much simpler, and it is found in the Bible, specifically in the Book of Romans. This pathway, known as the "Romans Road," shows us how to be saved:

1. We are all sinners.

   “For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God.” (Romans 3:23) There is no one who is good enough, moral enough, or religious enough on their own to stand before a Holy God.

2. The penalty for sin is death.

   “For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.” (Romans 6:23) Just as a job pays wages, our sin earns us spiritual death—eternal separation from God.

3. God loves us and provided a solution.

   “But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.” (Romans 5:8) Even though we were sinners, Christ died to pay the penalty for our sins.

4. We must believe and confess.

   “That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved.” (Romans 10:9) Salvation is not about joining a church, being baptized by proxy, or having your own planet. It is about placing your trust completely in what Jesus did on the cross for you.

At that very moment in that Sunday school room, and every single day since then, I have never had a doubt in my mind that, no matter what happens in this crazy world, when I die, I am going to be with Christ, my Lord and Savior.

I will tell you folks, I have been through some absolutely awful, rough times in my life since then. I can think of only one small period when doubt entered my mind, and it was because I was just in a very low spiritual point. But it didn't take long for me to remember: I am a child of the King.

Recently, I went through the scariest thing I've ever faced. I had open-heart, double-bypass surgery. If you don’t think that knowing your life is literally in the doctor's care makes you focus, that’s the point.

But I had no fear. Why? Because I KNEW that God was guiding the doctor's hands. I went to surgery with a perfect peace that only God can give.

When I woke up, I was in immense pain. I couldn't breathe because they had a tube down my throat. I was not thinking clearly because of the anesthesia. Thank God, my brother Danny was there with me, holding my hand and talking to me as I was waking up. You know what he kept telling me? He was saying, "God's got you. God's got you."

Thank God for that.

Well, that’s my story. I hope and pray that this reaches out to somebody, and that you will know that God loves you. I hope you know that He wants you to accept Christ and become part of the family of God.

I pray that the Holy Spirit will touch your heart right now. If you have any questions or any desire to know more on how to accept Christ, please don't hesitate to send me a message here. I will be so happy to bring you into the fold.

God bless you and keep you, may He shine His light on you.

DMMC 

11-9-26